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You don’t need to watch all of the Bond Movies on Sci-Fi today to see the new trailer for the last half season of Battlestar Gallactica. Here it is.
Let’s speculate and try to figure out logically who the last Cylon is on Battlestar Gallactica. Moreover, let’s try and guess how the series ends. The writers have left us with enough red herrings to fill a barrel. Let’s make a couple of assumptions:
- The writers are clever enough not to make it obvious, otherwise this wouldn’t be too much fun, would it?
- The writers are not going to pull Steve Bartman out of the left field stands. We know the Cylon now. It’s not going to be Troy, the mentally challenged boy who works in Gallactica’s stockroom whom we meet in the second-to-last episode. “He’s a hard worker, that Troy. Sometimes it seems like there’s six of him.”
So with those two assumptions in place, Starbuck’s the obvious choice. She’s back from the dead. We saw her die. Cylons routinely come back from the dead except when Al from Quantum Leap deliberately withholds the resurrection ship, as he did last night. Still, it will be interesting to know how they’re going to explain Starbuck’s miraculous comeback. But the Cylons wouldn’t have sent her back in a perfectly rebuilt ship if they planned to deceive the humans. It’s just too fracking obvious. Besides, the Cylons already have an insane model in Xena, Warrior Cylon Princess. Not to mention that Cylon Oracle who spends all her time soaking in the bathtub. So Starbuck’s out though the Oracle has predicted she will lead the fleet to humanity’s end. You know what? The Oracle didn’t say the end would be immediate. She could’ve been talking about global warming.
Baltar would be the next obvious choice. After all, he’s already sold out the human race on a couple of occasions and is the resident bad guy whom nobody trusts. But again, he’s too obvious. Unfortunately, I believe he represents us in the total picture of things. He is cowardly, licentious and guilty of all the weaknesses and failings inherent in all of us. Yet like us, when backs are against the wall and there is absolutely no chance, I believe he will choose to man up and be integral to humanity’s final victory. So Baltar is out.
Admiral Adama and President Roslin (Did you know there are already “Don’t blame me, I voted for Roslin” and “Roslin/Airlock in 2008″ t-shirts on the market?) would also be fairly obvious choices were it not for the fact that their unmasking would leave a plot hole the size of the Himalayas. Why? Both of them have had extensive medical work done. Adama when he was shot was actually opened up. Roslin with her disease has had every medical test known to the colonies. To reveal one of them as the final Cylon would mean that not one surgeon, nor internist, nor medical practitioner, nor anyone in the fleet who actually passed anatomy and physiology survived the Cylon’s initial assaults on the colonies. No wonder they’re coming here. They’re coming for Hillary’s universal health care. Boy are they going to be disappointed.
There are others it could be:
- Baltar’s lawyer is just smart enough to be a Cylon but I think he was just an interesting character whom we will not see again.
- Lt. “Helo” Agathon hangs around just enough to be suspicious. Plus, he has fathered a child with the Cylon Sharon. On the other hand, the Cylon CPO Tyrol (who saw that coming?) fathered a child with Cally, a human female, so we know that parenthood is not necessarily only a human feat. Unless Cally was the unknown Cylon. Now that would throw a monkey in the wrench, wouldn’t it?
- Apollo’s estranged wife? I don’t think so, we already have the other woman of color revealed as a Cylon. They wouldn’t do both.
- Lt. Gaeta is just weasily enough to be the final Cylon but I think the writers will pick a main character.
The writers are going to chose a main character so it has some impact. So who’s left? As my idol, Sherlock Holmes said, “If you eliminate all the other possibilities, then whatever is left, no matter how unlikely, is the answer.” That means it has to be Apollo, the admiral’s son. If only because I can’t think of a reason it’s not him.
So how is the series going to end? I don’t think it’s going to end with a climactic Lord of the Rings type battle with humanity coming out on top. I mean it could, with the final scene being Earth in all its azure glory, but that would mean the next logical event would be the colonists’ arrival and attempting to fit into our civilization. It’s been done. If you remember, the original BSG reached Earth and the series died starring the guy from Adam 12 and the colonists were doing things like using its advanced technology to cheat and win a Little League game.
I could see an open-ended finale so that the possibility of follow-up motion pictures isn’t ruled out. The fleet reaching a planetary system with a ringed giant, but oops, no life in this system, so they go on searching. Fade to black. All this leaving us wondering what happened. Was it the wrong system? Did we kill ourselves off before they got here? But wouldn’t that be unsatisying?
Could there be an accomodation between the Cylons and the humans leading to a final scene of the combined colonial/Cylon fleet pulling into Earth orbit like the cars pulling into the parking lot in Field of Dreams? Doubtful, though I’m not ruling out a final joining of the “races”. I think if that happens, what we may see is that the combined fleet makes it to the Terran system, but they decide that they should have called ahead to let us know they were coming. Out of some sense of etiquette, they decide to turn around and return to the colonies with a promise come back “later”, now that they know the way. What do you think of my reasoning?
The worst part of the weekend for me was the 48-hours of Twilight Zone episodes on Sci-Fi. This is a program which annoyed me no end when I saw them for the first time and I still don’t like to watch them to this day. Just when somebody was about get away/escape/have a nice day, it was, “Boing …Yank” and the protagonist was hanging from a tree. I like happy endings.
Lileks echoes my feelings in a post I still remember from five years ago:
Serling really didn’t like people very much. He liked them in general, but their messy meaty individual incarnations annoyed him. They were complex, and complexity was his enemy. He seemed to believe he was telling parables, moral lessons, and this required evil wolves and noble woodsmen – there’s not much nuance or shading in a Serling tale. He’s making a point, and if the story suffers so the point may thrive, so be it. His posthumous respect may rest on his dark view of human nature – bleakness and cynicism, after all, are often viewed as the sign of a Serious Person Engaged with the Issues, and optimism & cheerfulness the sign of Panglossian delusions.
Let me say that a little differently. I’m surprised that Rod Serling didn’t get his a$$ kicked on a regular basis by people who were tired of having the rug pulled out from under them.
Well, there was certainly a lot to digest in that episode. Wasn’t it nice to see them all again? Everyone in that show is so seriously flawed that the viewer is led to hope that they don’t find Earth, “Close the blinds. Maybe they’ll think we’re not home.” They make us feel better because we can say, “At least we’re not them.”
- No serious smoochies between Admiral Cain and Gina. I’m torn on that fact, as you know.
- Is Starbuck the seventh Cylon, not Admiral Adama, as many guessed? In fact, it shouldn’t be either, as both had human parents and a history before the “hybrids” existed. If one of them turns out to be the seventh, there’s some splainin’ to do.
- Should we believe the old Cylon oracle, is Kara Thrace the death of the human race? Why would the Cylons tell us that? Why would the Cylons seem to be simultaneously trying to destroy the human race and save it at the same time?
- Another four months and then only, 12, maybe 16, episodes left to find out.
On a side note, Katie Sackoff showed us again why she should be the Bionic Woman, not the English cutie. Why is American English so easy to imitate, by the way? Maybe one of my European readers can give us an answer.
I was reading this week’s TV Guide, which has a two-page profile of the upcoming BSG:Razor (I am unable to link to that story, because it’s not on-line). Which included the news (to me) that the story includes a lesbian relationship between the Admiral Cain (Michelle Forbes) and Gina/Number 6 (Tricia Helfer). Beyond the fact that I don’t want to think of my Tricia that way, something else troubles me. There’s something deeper going on here.
Hollywood has its stereotypes: corporate executives are always evil, for instance. There are no cowardly or stupid minorities in the mind of Hollywood. But white fathers, on the other hand, are always both stupid and cowardly. Is it the Hollywood stereotypical profile that a strong woman must be gay? Or that all gay women are strong? I’m not sure. Gay groups want a gay presence on the show, so the producers decide to add it by making a female admiral “an iron-balled” lesbian?
Of course, if those unsubstantiated rumors about Hillary have any substance, than the story line makes sense on a political level. Through the story of the resistance on New Caprica, the producers seemed to justify homicide bombers in Baghdad fighting against their mechanical invaders. It would follow that they may be telling us now that we shouldn’t fear for our national security if Hillary Clinton is elected because a gay woman can be just as ruthless as any man in battle.
Our buddy Chris just let us know that BSG’s premier has been delayed.
Hello? Is this thing on? If you’re able to read this, then it really works. If not … well I guess I can still use it for what it was designed. Some Microsoft engineers somehow figured out how to access the past. It’s a hand-held video screen which can look at any 15-minute period of the owner’s past. Only the owner, because it has something to do with that person’s DNA. I can’t say I understand it, but it can be interesting. Not because my life was so interesting, but because it jogs so many memories. It’s like the pictures in the family album come alive. I can see and hear all that was going on.
It was a novelty item which Microsoft thought would be big for the Christmas season and they named it the “iChronicom” or iChron for short. As sold, you couldn’t do anything more than look and listen to the past, but thirty seconds after its release, a hack was uploaded to the net which allows the user to send a text message back to yourself, as long as it doesn’t exceed 500 words. Unfortunately, the iChron’s power requirements are such that it becomes an expensive luxury to use. Batteries don’t grow on trees, you know.
I guess I should catch you up on what’s happened. I still blog. Actually, I’m the last blogger in the western district of the Milwaukeesha Metroplex since Wigderson went to work full time for the Freeman. His route covers the eight blocks around Buchner Park. Phelony Jones got too busy to blog, what with the kids and all. She and husband number three live somewhere in France. Dean at Musings just disappeared one day. Neighbors said that there was a bright light and poof he was gone. Ol’ Broad is now governor of Tennessee. Chris is in prison because he wouldn’t give up his guns voluntarily. They were the last bloggers other than Wiggy and me.
I’m still in Waukesha and live in a Becker Properties, Inc. rooming house on College Avenue. The place used to be a Carroll College dorm. The corporation bought it and got the city to change the zoning. No one complained. I’m telling you, noise all night. Gunshots, gangs, screaming, dogs barking, you name it. I don’t go out of my 13-digit zip code after dark and then, only for trips to the federal medical clinic.
I see my low battery light is on so I have to wrap it up for now. I just wanted you to know I picked this date because you’re coming up to the time when everything changed. I know the election is next year and you’re interested in who won. Let me tell you that there are no red states any more. Thompson got bored, McCain died of a stroke and Giuliani had a heart attack in New Hampshire. Wait’ll I tell you next time what happened to that screechy shrew Hillary. Till then, stay low and good luck.
Old men don’t like change. I know that, you know that and yet this will probably be the last season of BSG.
Serenity: Special Edition on August 21st.
“Its maker says it’s ruggedized, unphased by a fumble onto pavement or a torrential rainstorm, and can translate phrases you speak in English into any language, and then translate back into English whatever people say to you.” From Gizmodo. Mademoiselle from Vulcan, parlez-vous?
Did I nail Starbuck’s re-appearance or what? <Yoda voice>Wise, I am. </Yoda voice>
And who hasn’t suspected that Dylan (or Hendrix) was not of this Earth?
The patron saint of my category “Stay In Your Zip Code”, possibly even its cause with his “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet” episode which scared an eight-year-old living on North St. in Waukesha in 1959, William Shatner turns 76 today. For a guy who is supposedly a bad actor, he’s had a pretty good career.
