Championship Sunday – Ice Bowl II

It’s -10°F at 8:00 a.m. and the NFL is licking their chops for it to stay this cold in Green Bay. Watch the crocodile tears from the NFL if someone dies of exposure. We won’t see a change until someone dies, so drunks: it’s up to you to do something stupid tonight. Pass out in a snowbank while taking a pee and have your rowdy friends not miss you until they’re on I-43 nearing Sheboygan.

As almost always, this game will be lost or won on turnovers. If tonight’s Packers turn out to be those inept, bumbling, frozen Packers we last saw in Soldier Field, then the Giants will win. If Eli becomes the turnover machine I saw play the Vikings, the Packers will win. If the bad Packers and the bad Eli show up at the same time on the same field, I’m switching over to the History Channel.

To be entirely analytical, the Packers should win by more than the 7 point spread. The Giants have key players injured and are playing on the road. Their 9-1 road record this year means nothing other than that they’re due to lose a road game. They’ve won two games in the play-offs, teams rarely win three. The Steelers and Eagles of the past come to mind. These Giants are not those teams. Their QB is more mistake-prone than ours. The Packers have a stout defense. The Giants’ pass rush should be negated by a frozen field. The Packers’ receivers are excellent after the catch and should be even better on a frozen field. The kicking game on both sides will be important. Field position will be important. Half-time adjustments will be important. Are you catching my drift?

Let me tell you what’s not important: this game. It’s a football game. A Game.

The sun rises tomorrow regardless. Seven billion people on the Earth don’t give a flying frack who wins. Your family is more important. Your job is more important. Your health is more important. Today, even the transformer in the box which turns on the boiler to your house is more important. Your daughter’s love life is more important. How your son is doing in math is more important. It’s more important to celebrate your wife’s birthday. And believe me when I tell you this, the phone call at 3:00 a.m. from the hospital asking for your permission to put in a breathing tube: that’s important.

So I’m going to enjoy the games today, but I’m going to probably miss the first half of the Packer game. Because the people I’m going to see and talk to and share with are more important.