Chronicle’s 2008 Predictions

‘Tis the season for predictions. The Spring City Chronicle has assembled a crack team of prognosticators to tell you what will happen in the coming year. They are:

Owner, editor and reporter Huckleberry Dumbell:

Perennial favorite seer, The Enchanted Rubber Chicken:

Watson’s cat toys (read them like strewn chicken bones):

And a special guest predictor, Magic Eight Ball:

To make things easier to type, I’ll put all 8-Ball’s comments in red. Are you ready to go today, Magic?

Yes-definitely.

Politics

1. Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama will comprise the Democratic ticket. Do you agree Magic 8-Ball? Signs point to yes.
2. If Mitt Romney is the Republican nominee, he will lose his home state in the general election. Without a doubt.
3. Who’s the GOP nominee? It will not be Fred Thompson. Magic? Cannot predict now.
4. Wisconsin Republicans will take control of the state senate and strengthen their majority in the assembly. Most likely.
5. Louis Butler will retain his Wisconsin Supreme Court seat in a fabulously expensive and dirty campaign. Don’t count on it.

Sports

1. Not counting weddings and funerals, Brett Favre’s appearance in this year’s playoffs will mark one of the last four times ever that Brett will appear in a Packer jersey in Green Bay. As I see it, yes.
2. Obviously, I’m predicting he will retire after this year’s last game. Signs point to yes.
3. Next year’s Packers will go 8-8 and miss the playoffs. It is decidedly so.
4. The Brewers will finish with 87 wins this year. Most likely.
5. Ned Yost will be fired. Yes-definitely.
6. New England will not win the Super Bowl. Most likely.

Waukesha

1. Mayor Nelson will finally start his blog. Yes-definitely
2. A new public works director will be hired from within the department. Don’t count on it
3. Waukesha Public Schools will hold a referendum in the $75-95 million range. Signs point to yes.
4. The Black Trumpet will open to rave reviews with parking will be stated as the biggest drawback. It is certain.
5. The Cheescake Factory will announce a Waukesha franchise. Very doubtful.
6. The old Salvation Army store in downtown will be razed. Reply hazy, try again.

U.S. and the World

1. There will be no major terrorist attacks in the United States in 2008. Yes.
2. Five hurricanes will make landfall, however, and cause very expensive damage. The New Orleans area will be hit again. Outlook not so good.
3. 25,000 troops will permanently return to the U.S. from Iraq. Most likely.
4. A major earthquake will cause major destruction on the West Coast, either in the L.A. area or Anchorage, Alaska. Reply hazy, try again.
5. Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad will be replaced. Signs point to yes.

Wisconsin

1. Taxes will go up. Yes.

Personal

1. I will get a new job. Yes.
2. I will sell the condo. Most likely.
3. I will find someone without pets who will take Watson for a couple of weeks while I leave my zip code on vacation. Don’t count on it.
4. My garage will get painted. My sources say no.
   
5. In fact, all my painting will get done. Very doubtful.
6. I will remodel the kitchen and bath, get a new refrigerator, replace the driveway, re-carpet the downstairs, finish the bedroom, have a bigger water line installed, have an electrician do those little jobs which have piled up, have the heating guy bleed the radiators, get an Apple laptop, get two new LCD TVs in advance of 2009 and sign up for ATT U-Verse. Pfff.